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Will I live forever? Probably.

La Crosse, WI, United States / Classic Rock 100.1

According to a recent study, a group of Canadian researchers came to the conclusion that the limits of human existence may be “boundless” which really means that I may never die.

What they’re really saying is that they haven’t found a specific reason as to why there should be a boundary put on the amount of years a human being should be able to live. I’m choosing to interpret those findings as support for my immortality.

“It does not mean that we know there is no limit. But because we can detect no limit it is possible that indeed there is no limit,” said McGill University biologist Siegfried Hekimi. “Average human life span keeps increasing dramatically and maximum human lifespan seems to follow. I see no statistical or demonstrated biological reason how we would know that this must stop.”

The world’s oldest person (allegedly) lived to 122 years old and we seemingly hear all the time about people living into their 100s and 110s.

As the great philosopher Ricky Bobby once said: “No one lives forever, no one. But with advances in modern science and my high level income, it’s not crazy to think I can live to be 245, maybe 300.”

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