I mean, it goes without saying anyone who checks on to a flight with luggage amounting to nothing but a can of beer is a hero we need but don’t deserve.
The rest of us are out here, fretting over the weight limit, this particular jacket, that pair of jeans, whereas Aussie lad Dean knows that booze and banter comes before fashion and custom.
Checking in at Melbourne Airport on Saturday for Qantas flight QF777, he managed to reinvent the mundane task of plane boarding as something worthy of its own hashtag by handing over one can of Emu Export lager.
Ever the sesh advocates, ground staff simply loaded the can onto the plane along with the rest of the luggage and the rest was history.
We got a chance to speak to Dean, to understand the man behind the can.
UNILAD: This might be one of the best things I’ve seen all year. What inspired you?
Dean: One of my mates works at the airport and he and I were wondering what I could check as luggage and get away with – a single deodorant can was another idea – but the export can was way more iconic so I went with that.
Honestly the thought of a single can of export making its way down the baggage carousel was too good to pass up so I thought I’d give it a whirl.
Presumably the other Emu’s had been consumed?
Actually to be honest I tried to do it flying out of Perth and was too late to check my baggage, so the can went with me across Australia to be checked in on the way home.
The planning stages may have definitely had a few cold ones cracked but the execution was done sober.
Brilliant. Did you expect to see it there in the baggage reclaim?
Nah I wasn’t sure. I was right up the back end of the plane, so I rocked up to the baggage carousel late. There was no luggage out yet but everyone was milling around and had their phones out so I was pretty sure I knew what was going on.
Sure enough there she was, alone on the carousel proudly making her way around. And there I was in my flanno and RMs to greet her. It was perfection.
I half expected to find it empty, but if it didn’t turn up I’d have filed a lost luggage report.
That could have been an even funnier outcome.
“Boutique fermented wheat and yeast, housed in cylinder of aluminium.”
Did you crack it open as soon as you got it back?
That was a strong consideration but I’m saving it to crack when it’s cold and I’m with the boys.
Ah, of course. What a rookie error on my part.
Forgiven. You guys exported all your professionals on convict ships a few hundred years ago.
I’ll drink to that. Is Emu big down there? Never heard of it until now.
It’s huge in Western Australia. Each state historically has its own brewery, and Emu and Swan came out of ours.
So those Fosters adverts are a gross lie?
I’ve never seen Fosters for sale in Australia. Only time I’ve drunk it was in the States.
I heard from someone that clubs close really early because of a shit ton of riots that happened one year. Is that true? And if so, what does that mean for the future of cracking cold ones with the boys?
Yeah over the last five years some jurisdictions have had really tough lockout laws put in place in an attempt to stop violence. It hasn’t worked at all to be honest but more importantly it means we’re cracking more cold ones in the comfort of our own homes, and spending less money on taxis.
Hopefully one day I can crack open a cold one down under.
Bloody oath mate. Come on down anytime.
I’ll get saving. Cheers Dean.