1. “What’s your bra size?”
I’ve been asked this question by coworkers, friends, bosses, men I’ve dated, and random strangers who come at me from the mysterious “other messages” folder on Facebook. While some women feel no shame in revealing their measurements, it’s best to assume that most women consider this to be a deeply personal question up there with “What’s your salary?” or “How much do you weigh?”
2. “Wow, I didn’t know that was a real size.”
The alphabet doesn’t end after “D” and neither do bra sizes. My freaky boobs and I will now retire to the Coney Island Sideshow alongside Leo the Human Gumby.
3. “Have you ever considered surgery?”
Regardless of how this question is intended (harmless curiosity!), the subtext is that you think someone is a candidate for surgically altering their body. That’s a knife to the self-esteem.
4. “Have you lost weight?”
While asking anyone about their weight is a crap idea, in my experience, busty ladies hear this question constantly. Every time you wear something fitted instead of the usual shift dress, everybody wants to know if you’ve lost five pounds. It’s awkward to explain that you haven’t.
5. “I totally agree, bra shopping is the worst.”
Girl, you can pick up a bra at any random clothing store you like! I can only buy bras at specialty boutiques found in urban areas after extensive Googling.
6. “Are they real?”
Thankfully Christina Hendricks has answered this question for all big-breasted women, now and forever: “It’s so bizarre that people are constantly asking if my breasts are real or fake. They’re so obviously real that anyone who’s ever seen or touched a breast would know.”
7. “So I’m thinking about this bridesmaids dress… [sends link to strapless dress].”
Noooooooo. My strapless bra will wind up around my waist before you’ve even finished your vows, and the unfortunate uniboob effect that all strapless dresses create is even more obvious on busty women. Please! Consider not only my happiness, but your wedding photos.
8. “Is it hard to run?”
Yes. You need as many sports bras as you do legs. If not more. But please don’t make me explain the mechanics of boobs, bouncing, and my chin.
9. “At least you’re not flat-chested like I am.”
Actually, this one is fine because I totally agree with you. For all the occasional downsides, I wouldn’t change my size for a second. Big boobs FTW.
link webFROM COSMOPOLITAN