43-year –old Robert Roy Engelsman was minding his own business, drinking and sniffing glue…like you do…when he thought he heard the voice of his ex-girlfriend inside of a house party. Robert then decided to take off all of his clothes…like you do…and join the party. Unfortunately for Robert, his ex-girlfriend was, in fact, not in attendance at that party. However, Robert persevered! According to authorities he…”came into the house visibly aroused, lifted up a woman’s skirt and pressed himself against her.” You know…like you …I guess like Matt Lauer does?
Multnomah County (OR) Circuit Judge Gregory Silver sentenced Engelsman to more than 4 years in prison for first degree burglary and attempted first degree sexual abuse. Judge Silver noted that Engelsman had a history of drug abuse and said he needs to make changes in his life. In other news, water is still wet.
Source: KVAL-TV Eugene, OR