Skip to Content

Man Chooses Death Over Watching Any More of The Hapless Browns

La Crosse, WI, United States / Classic Rock 100.1
Man Chooses Death Over Watching Any More of The Hapless Browns

Before I get too far…I am a Cubs fan. I have been a Cubs fan my entire life. I know the fandom of a terrible sports team. I know the heartbreak of cheering for something that will do nothing but hurt you. I know this struggle. That said…

The Cleveland Browns are so bad at football their fans are choosing death over suffering through anymore of their b-s!

On December 28th the Sandusky Register ran an obituary for one Paul Stark. It opens… “Paul Stark passed away Dec. 27, 2017, of complications from a brief illness, exacerbated by the hopeless condition of the Cleveland Browns, at Stein Hospice, Sandusky.” And closed with… “Paul passed just before the Browns were prepared to turn the corner, but had many well-earned blessings. Paul believed in paying it forward, and the goodwill he leaves behind will endure long after he’s gone.”

The Browns just finished the worst two year stretch in NFL history going 1-31 over that time frame. 1-31. ONE…and 31. That is bad…really bad…I didn’t realize it was terminal.

Patient: Tell it ito me straight, Doc. How long do I got?
Doctor: I’m not going to lie to you, Mr. Stark. Not long. A week. Maybe two.
Patient: What is it, doctor? What is this thing plaguing my body.
Doctor: Well, in Latin it’s called Footballus Suckus Toomuchus. In German, it’s known as Sheissepoops. In plain old American English…the Browns suck so bad they are killing you. We call it…Cleveland.

 

SOURCE: USA Today

 

Comments are closed.

Latest

More