Skip to Content

Florida…are you ok?

La Crosse, WI, United States / Classic Rock 100.1
Florida...are you ok?

Can we talk about Florida for a minute? The state…not JJ Walkers mom in Good Times. I mean Americas genitalia. (You know America is a man. It tells everyone that it knows more…it’s stone cold stupid when it comes to relationships…the middle part is doughy and fat but it maintains an overwhelming self confidence)  The Sunshine state. The Orange state. The state where that one guy, high as balls on bath salts, ate that other guy and the world thought The Walking Dead had come to life. That Florida.

For years now we have been hearing more and more about the oddity that happens, on a near daily basis, in the state of Florida. There is an entire Reddit page (subreddit…settle down nerds. You’re not the only one’s reading) devoted to the peculiar way Florida residents handle existence. Just a quick glance at the r/WTF_Florida  found these headlines…

“Florida Wants Year-Round Daylight Savings”
“Florida Man Allegedly Killed Pregnant Wife Then Took Photos of Her Dead Body”
“Florida Repeats as Number 1 in something…Scams.”
“Florida Man Shoots Baby in the Face”
“Alleged Killer Texts Detective Instead of Wife About Girlfriend’s Murder”

That isn’t all. The Huffington Post has a section of their website dedicated to weird Florida news as well! Headlines from that website…

“Florida Woman Crashes Wedding, And It Does Not End Well”
“Car Thief Busted After Braking To Watch Eclipse, Buy Eye Mask”
“See What Happens When A Badass Horse Fights An Alligator”

And there it is…the reason Florida is so weird. Florida is the state where Disney has built the largest chunk of legitimate revenue. Cocain (or yayo…if you’re Tony Montana) has a large chunk as well. Oh, meth too! On top of that, Florida is a retiree haven. Septuagenarians, Octogenarians, nonagenarians and the otherwise dead-on-their-feet crowd flock to Florida for the warmer weather and retiree communities. (The sex in those places is wild and dangerous…but that is another, more saucy, post)  On top of THAT, it’s always summer there. Always. Even in December…its summer. So, let us put that together…

1 part – Economy built on fantasies and play time…
1 part – Drugs…lots and lots of drugs and drug addicts…
1 part – Old ass people who have lost the ability to give a damn…
1 part – Party weather year round…
Add that up and you get…

Comments are closed.

Latest

More