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Jedidiah and his War With The Arches

La Crosse, WI, United States / Classic Rock 100.1
Jedidiah and his War With The Arches

Bah dah bah da duh…hated it!

That was, 37-year-old, Jedidiah Ezekial Fulton’s response when the Sutherlin Oregon McDonalds he was visiting refused to make 30 double cheese burgers for him. According to the News-Review, Fulton became enraged when the order was refused so he took out his rage on the arches themselves.

Literally.

He attacked the golden arches of the McDonalds. He waged, both, a literal and metaphorical one-man-war on the fast food giant.

Let’s put this together…Jedidiah (I wish I was making that name up) goes into his local McDonalds and says, “There is nothing on this green earth that I love more than those double cheeseburgers from the Mac-Donald’s!” To which the teenaged, minimum wage employee responded…”Can I take your order please?” And Jedidiah, full of the glee one experiences when they are very near to getting exactly what they want, puffed his chest out and said “I am going to need 30 of them delicious double cheeseburgers, good sir.” And he was met with… “No.”

At this point in our story, I am on Jedidiah’s side. But, like all good tales about crazy people and their mania…things took a turn. Jedidiah, in professional terms, lost his every long mind. He tore a banner from the wall and then laid wage on the Golden Arches themselves attempting to bring them to the ground in some grand gesture of defiance against the Clown Prince of French Fried Potatoes.

At that point…a gin was pulled. Not by Jedidiah. No, his was strictly hand to arches combat. A bystander, fearing for their life and seeing that we were…in fact…dealing with a bonafide crazy person…pulled their weapon. That is where the story ends. I’m not kidding. There are no other facts. The police came. Jedidiah was arrested and charged with suspicion of second degree disorderly conduct (suspicion? Laws are weird) second degree criminal trespass (because he was asked to leave) second degree criminal mischief (because “went nut bar” isn’t and official crime yet) and harassment.

(For the record, that picture is NOT Jedidiah. That is afriend of mine. But, he IS crazy AND he takes his anger out on inanimate objects. Right after that picture was taken he punched a washing machine. For no reason. Just punched it and said “take that, you s-o-b.” It was intense.)

 

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