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Who are these sexy people and why haven’t I met them?

La Crosse, WI, United States / Classic Rock 100.1
Who are these sexy people and why haven't I met them?

According to a new survey (FORBES) 30% of people that have got it on in the skies…or became members of the Mile High Club…did so with strangers. Let that sink in. Someone was either SO worked up on a plane that they had to get a stranger to rub their genitals on their own…or, some really slutty people happened to find each other at the most opportune of moments.

I mean, this isn’t, “Hey, we are really close friends and both of us want to cross this off of our bucket lists…” no! This is “I don’t know you…you don’t know me…but we have this plane. And these genitals. And they aren’t going to play with themselves. Well…I mean…I guess they COULD be played with by themselves but you’re clearly slutty and I am clearly slutty. Lets be slutty together. On a plane. You stranger you.”

The study does point out that only 5% of people surveyed had done the deed on a plane. but out of 11,000 respondents that is still 550 people. That are just flying their freak flag. And I love them for it. However, WHY HAVEN’T I BEEN APPROACHED! I’m limber. I’m flexible. I’m sexy…ish.

I say most of that in jest, but seriously, I have no idea how “freaks” get “freaky” with one another in such a specific and rapid way. When I was trying to woo women, it was a slow, deliberate, endeavor. Endearing myself to the lady. Making her laugh. Making her feel special. Hoping that she feels special enough to make me feel special. With her body. And her hands. And whatever other appendage she wished to share. I can’t imagine that happening in the span of a flight. Even an international flight. I am the slow cooker of hooking up. Turn it on, walk away, enjoy when you are ready.

The survey also broke down where these flights of fancy happen on the plane. Most popular of course is the bathroom. Tiny, stinky and also sexy to worry about getting that blue water all over your clothing and skin. 31% did right in their seats. Nothing like taking care of sex in the skies AND sex with an audience. 9% got down in the galley…I wouldn’t even know how to get there on a plane…and 1% enjoyed the afternoon delights in the cockpit. There is a pun there but I am going to leave it for you to make.

Wait…the cockpit? That means the PILOT was in on the action. Is it NOT enough that you have a cool job you have to also…nope. I said job once and that is the only place my brain will go now so this too I shall leave for you to finish. Just like all those dirty birds finished all over the planes they were cruising in.

 

PHOTO: REALCLEAR

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