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NFL Draft: Bill Burr
Apr. 30, 2015 2:11 pm

This is fantastic. A little NSFWish, but spot on.


Jockey Crack
Apr. 23, 2015 2:51 pm

"Finishing at the rear of the field"

You clever British announcers.


Amy Schumer
Apr. 22, 2015 4:26 pm

Have you ever watched something, and cringed because of how well it's executed? Satire at it's finest.


Star Wars Trailer
Apr. 16, 2015 2:27 pm

New Star Wars trailer? Eh.



Disney stock going up on the day of the release? Not a coincidence.


Rice Krispie
Apr. 15, 2015 1:45 pm

I don't have much of a sweet tooth, and chocolate isn't really my thing. But this, I'm a fan of.

IMAGE: Giant Rice Krispies treat


Via NBC News: 

A group of students at the University of Wisconsin-Madison said Sunday that they cooked up a Rice Krispies treat that shatters the Guinness World Record for the largest cereal treat by half a ton.

The group, called Project Freshman 15,000 ? a reference to the notorious "freshman 15" ? set out on a goal to construct a 7-ton version of the classic gooey cereal treat while raising money for charity along the way, according to a statement from the school.

The student volunteers, led by the visionary of the project, Joe Tarnowski, started melting the butter and marshmallows Thursday morning and finished up Sunday with a Rice Krispies treat that was 11,327 pounds. While the finished product was a tad short of their goal, the group is still confident they beat the world record, which was set in 2010 with a brick of Rice Krispies weighing 10,314 pounds, according to Guinness World Records.


Boston Bombings
Apr. 8, 2015 2:09 pm

The verdict in the Boston Marathon bombing case came down today, and it surprised no one: Dzokhar Tsarnaev was convicted on all 30 counts that he was up against. The only question now is whether or not he will die via capital punishment or if he'll rot away in prison.

Of course there are some people rejoicing that justice was served, but for some, those wounds are not healed. I follow a few members of the Boston media on twitter, and one said "As a Bostonian, runner & someone at the marathon on 4/15/13, today strangely brings no feelings of satisfaction. Just a terrible tragedy."



From well over 1,000 miles away, it's hard to truly empathize with what went on within that community, so I can only speak to what my experiences were here in La Crosse today. I remember it vividly because I was still a relative newbie to radio (even moreso than I am now), and I remember selfishly thinking "how am I going to handle this on the air?"

I also remember how unique the event was in that it played out in real time both on television and social media as well. Watching a literal manhunt develop on the internet was fascinating, although I hope we never have to do something again.

Special thoughts and prayers go out today to the families off all affected by the bombings almost two years ago.


Just Another Monday
Apr. 6, 2015 3:46 pm

Posted earlier this morning at lacrosseradiogroup.net/sports

Today should be fun, right?

I mean, I?d love to be in either Milwaukee or Indianapolis right now, but them?s the breaks, right? My Facebook feed is rapidly filling up with posts by my friends getting ready to tailgate at Miller Park, or ones that were able to score tickets to the NCAA championship game tonight at Lucas Oil Stadium. I have obligations here in La Crosse (which I am excited about, trust me), but really, I?m just jealous. Plain and simple.

First things first: How about the Badgers? I?m not totally sure how to properly characterize the upset. In Vegas terms, it wasn?t that big. Wisconsin was a five-point underdog, against a team that they lost to by one the year before in this exact same game. Badgers haters were quick to point that out over the weekend. But in other, unquantifiable terms, it was huge. Kentucky was THE team in college basketball this season, and THE favorite heading into the tournament. They showed all year that they were beatable, but for 38 times in a row, they hadn?t been.

What was encouraging as a Badgers fan was that they won without playing perfect. They played well, don?t get me wrong, but Kentucky shot better from the field, from three and from the FT line. Granted, Wisconsin made more threes and more free throws, but the point stands. The Badgers also had 10 turnovers, which is a lot for Wisconsin. What was most impressive was they way that they controlled the boards. So much was made of Kentucky?s length and athleticism, but it was the Badgers that had a 34-22 advantage on the glass, led by 11 from Frank Kaminsky. Kaminsky and Sam Dekker combined for 14 rebounds, as did Willie Cauley-Stein and Karl-Anthony Towns, but the rest of the Wisconsin starting lineup (Nigel Hayes, Josh Gasser and Bronson Koenig) out-rebounded the rest of the Wildcats? starting line-up.

So what?s going to be the secret tonight? Limiting Duke?s trips to the FT line (they shot 27 of 37 against Michigan State!!), exploiting mismatches (we?ll get to that in a second), and continuing to control the glass (duh).

I think that Kaminsky, Dekker and Koenig match up extremely well with Jahlil Okafor, Justise Winslow and Tyus Jones. Call them a wash, just for argument?s sake. That leaves my X-factors as Nigel Hayes and Josh Gasser. Both will need to knock down at least a couple of 3-pointers, and basically win the battle vs. their Duke counterparts. I?d be ok if Duje Dukan stepped up and hit a 3-pointer or two, as well.

Is this a team of destiny? It sure feels like it.

Now, BASEBALL.

I know it?s a loooooong season, but 1-0 would certainly feel great, because, you know, hope springs eternal. Let?s go Brew Crew.


Citizen's Police Academy
Apr. 2, 2015 2:24 pm

Last night, I had the unique opportunity to get drunk on the taxpayer's dime. One of the things that the Onalaska Police Department does is offer a Citizens Police Academy for anyone that lives or works in the city, and they get to learn some of the ins and outs of the business. It's pretty neat. But this week in the academy, they were learning about drunk driving, OWI, DUI and the things that police officers look for when it comes to enforcing those laws. Of course, to be able to best teach this topic, they needed test subjects.

That's where I come into play.

I got connected with the Onalaska PD to come in and basically, get drunk. I told them I like a good 7&7, so when I showed up, I was seated with the other "participants", I poured myself a mixer and starting to drink.

It was kind of odd, drinking with cops and strangers in the room, but I quickly made friends, we watched some Wheel of Fortune, and kept drinking. Of course, alcohol is a great social lubricant, so that certainly helped.

They would periodically check our BAC along the way (basically after every mixed drink), and I saw my number gradually climb. .04 after two drinks, up to .074 after three drinks and I hit the magical .08 mark after four (relatively strong) mixed drinks.

My initial reaction? Holy crap, I'm hammered. I'd never ever think about getting behind the wheel of a car at that level of intoxication, but to learn that I was only a .08 was astonishing. After two drinks, I was already thinking to myself "whoa, driving might be tricky now" but to drive home after four drinks would be stupid.
Patch.bmp

We went through field sobriety tests, which I did not pass, surprisingly. They did the finger test where you follow it with your eyes, the walk-in-a-straight-line trick, plus the ol' stand-on-one-foot game. I failed all three. I asked the officer overseeing this part of the night at which point he would have failed me and he said "As soon as I put up my finger." So yeah, pretty drunk.

I got a ride home and almost immediately went to bed. Pounded some Powerade this morning, finally ate some lunch early this afternoon, and starting to finally feel a bit better later on this afternoon. It was for a good cause, but I kept telling my coworkers this morning that it was an "excused hangover."

Anyways, it was a cool experience. I feel like I learned a great deal of my tolerance levels and what a .08 actually feels like, and I think the more people that want to spend time actually learning our laws and get a better appreciation of what our police departments do is a huge plus as well. Kudos to the Onalaska PD on a great program (and thank you taxpayers for the drinks!)


April Fools Day
Apr. 1, 2015 3:20 pm

Some companies doing April Fools Day are clever. Most are just dumb.

Take a look here.

Embedded image permalink

A wing chain advertising a 100-lb chicken wing. Topical, relevant to their business, harmless. That should be about what you're shooting for.


Get Hard
Mar. 31, 2015 3:10 pm

For some reason, I decided to go see Get Hard at Marcus Cinemas last night and it was...ok. In saying that, I mean that it's terrible, but it's funny, if that makes sense. Will Ferrell and Kevin Hart are some of the funniest people in the world, and they are professional actors, so by that logic, comedy ensues.

As far as bad plots and offensiveness to blacks and gays and really almost anyone else, to go with just a general awfulness...well, this movie ain't winning any Academy Awards.



But...so what? It had it's laughs, and it made for an entertaining two hours. Not every movie that comes out has to be the crowning jewel of society. Sure this may have played to the least common denominator, so to speak, but so what?

Here's a great take from the Los Angeles Times:

The movie has taken a fair share of heat for some of its jokes. In a widely quoted Coming Soon.net review, one critic wrote that with this movie we ?finally get a comedy that homophobes, racists and generally stupid people can all enjoy together!? There's an argument to be made that a smarter class commentary lurks within, perhaps beaten down by the relentless process of studio testing and editing.

For all the genre's breadth, though, none of these movies are  trying to take on social topics. How members of different races see each other is something only a select few R-rated comedies have really attempted (e.g. the ?Harold and Kumar? series). And the idea of examining class and wealth distribution in an R-rated comedy -- what with all the bathroom and bedroom humor to be mined -- is even rarer.  R-rated comedies, God bless 'em, aren't here to make you think about the real world. They're here to make you forget about it.


Split Allegiances
Mar. 27, 2015 3:36 pm

Last night was thrilling, as a basketball fan. I was emotionally invested in three of the four games airing last night, as I am a joint Wisconsin Badgers/Notre Dame Fighting Irish fan, and I may or may not have had something riding on the Arizona-Xavier game. (Legally speaking, of course.)

It made for an interesting evening. I love this Wisconsin Badgers team, and have watched probably 99%  of their action this season. I?m all in. It?s easy to be a fan of this team, and given the fact that so many people from around the state and around the community are Badgers fans as well, it?s fun to root for them.

I?m also a Notre Dame fan, stemming from my childhood. My dad is a Domer, so I was raised cheering for ol? Notre Dame. I think they are extremely well coached and likable as well, and the fact that they took down the likes of Duke and UNC in the ACC Tournament doesn?t hurt. I?ve never really seen a direct conflict of interest in my household, because the two teams rarely if ever play each other. They?re one game away now, but with Arizona and Kentucky in the way, I?m not sure they are destined to meet-up, and cause an rift in the Callaway household.


Inside the Park Nachos
Mar. 25, 2015 2:56 pm

As if my arteries weren't clogged enough as it is, the Brewers have to go and do something like this. Let's be fair: I'd eat just about anything crusted in Doritos.

Yahoo! describes it like this:

Nachos are great, but they are a difficult item to eat on the go. And, if you're anything like me, you need to consume your ballpark food the instant it's placed in your hand. With nachos on a stick, that's no longer a problem!

The 'Inside the Park Nachos' are packed with taco meat and crusted with Doritos. That will be topped with cheese sauce and sour cream, and will be served with salsa. 

They're also debuting a brat that apparently "has everything":

This brat has everything: fries, gravy, cheese curds and sauerkraut are placed on the dog. That gets covered with cheese sauce, fried jalapenos, sour cream and chives.


Catfish Catasrophe
Mar. 20, 2015 1:04 pm

Over the past few years, we've all learned the digital term for catfished and how it basically means being deceived and led on by a person over the internet.


This...is much more literal. And appropriate, I suppose, given that it is a Lenten Friday.


Somehow, someway, all of the fish survived. I don't like fish. I would have noped out of there pretty quick.

Fireworks Display
Mar. 19, 2015 8:06 am

Ever wonder what the police do with all those fireworks they confiscate? No? Well you're about to find out anyways.



20,000 pounds is 10 tons, in case you were wondering. Three and a half days to explode them all seems like a great use of taxpayer money, although you can't really keep explosives sitting in a warehouse, I suppose.


Cheese
Mar. 18, 2015 6:29 am

Apparently there is a company out of North Carolina whose sole job is asking people stupid questions. It's called Public Policy Polling, and they asked 1,071 Wisconsin voters to answer various questions about sports, food and pop culture in this glorious state. The answers were...boring.

From the PPP report:

-There actually is one thing in Wisconsin (narrowly) more popular than Aaron Rodgers: cheese. 80% of voters in the state have a favorable opinion of cheese to only 5% with a negative one. Beer is popular too, with a 65/24 favorability rating. But it can't match up to cheese- when asked which of the two they like better 66% of voters pick cheese to only 23% for beer.

WHO DOESN'T LIKE CHEESE? Unless you're lactose intolerant or something like that, YOU BETTER BE EATING CHEESE EVERY DAMN DAY.

All this proves is that I think we found the 5% of people that should find a new state to live in.


Cost Map
Mar. 13, 2015 3:31 pm

Someone had way too much time on their hands compiling this, but the results are fantastic.

This dude presented the question "How much does _______ cost in" and then added every state, and shared his results here. 

full-map

Wisconsin's and Minnesota's answers are kind of boring. Connecticut, on the other hand, wants to research exactly how much that hooker is going to cost them.


Secret Service
Mar. 12, 2015 2:54 pm

This story is something else. Mostly funny, if you ask me.

Per the Washington Post:

Two Secret Service agents suspected of driving under the influence and striking a White House security barricade disrupted an active bomb investigation and may have driven over the suspicious package itself, according to current and former government officials familiar with the incident.

Secret Service officers on duty considered the agents? behavior to be erratic and suspected they were drunk, according to current and former officials familiar with the incident.

An agency official said the two employees had been moved to ?non-supervisory, non-operational assignments.? They were not put on administrative leave, which has been a typical procedure when agents are under investigation for alleged misconduct.


Fishermen
Mar. 11, 2015 3:41 pm

I saw plenty of brave souls enjoying the 55 degree weather out on the ice of Lake Onalaska today, but science will always win. Trust me.

From the Pioneer Press:

An angler was rescued from atop his partially submerged vehicle Tuesday after it broke through the ice on a reservoir north of Duluth as officials are urging residents in northern Minnesota to stay off the ice.

"It's damn embarrassing," Bill Weckman, 60, of Duluth Township said after rescue crews extended a ladder to reach his Kia Sorento about 100 feet from shore near the Rice Lake Dam at about 1 p.m.

"I wanted to get off early before it got warmer," he said, as temperatures climbed to record highs in the region. "It's a two-wheel-drive (vehicle) and I wanted to get off before it got slushy."

Weckman said he went out on the lake to fish at about 9:30 a.m. As he headed back to the boat landing, he was driving about 30 mph when the vehicle broke through the ice without warning and started to sink in shallow water. Weckman climbed out through an open window and waited on the vehicle's roof until rescuers arrived.


The temperature at the Duluth airport reached 57 degrees at 1 p.m., a record for the date.]

That's right. Ice melts when it gets warm. I know you want to catch that last lunker, but use your freaking head.


Early NFL Free Agency
Mar. 10, 2015 1:51 pm

Through the first few days of the Free Agent Frenzy, as it applies to the NFC North, a few things are clear: The Packers haven't gotten worse, while their stiffest competition, the Lions and Bears, certainly have. (Sorry Vikings. I like some things you guys are doing, but you're not there yet.)

Case in point: Green Bay was able to (agree to) re-sign Randall Cobb to a 4-year, $40 million dollar deal. That's pretty damn close to the 4-year, $39 million dollar deal that Jordy Nelson signed last summer. That makes them the 10th and 11th highest paid wideouts in the league, according to OverTheCap.com (http://overthecap.com/position/wide-receiver/). They're both locked up through 2019, at a good price. That's a win for the Packers.

And now Bryan Bulaga too! The off-season for the Packers is already a win. Cobb and Bulaga were their two biggest priorities, and they're bringing both back on deals that work within the salary cap. Huge.
Via ESPN.com (http://a.espncdn.com/photo/2015/0224/nfl_g_packts_576x324.jpg)

Ndamukong Suh is set to sign a $114 million contract with the Miami Dolphins. That's a heck of a lot of money. He's a heck of a player, and is now gonna stomp on Tom Brady instead of Aaron Rodgers, but it unquestionably makes the Detroit Lions worse (well, certainly not better). Say what you will about his shenanigans on the field, but Suh is an All Pro defensive tackle.

The Chicago Bears have also agreed to trade wide receiver Brandon Marshall in exchange for a freaking fifth-round pick. The one thing that worried me as a Packers fan about playing the Bears was the duo of Marshall and Alshon Jeffrey. Now, that duo is no more. The Bears certainly aren't better, in my opinion, after the trade.

The Vikings got put in a tough spot after the whole Adrian Peterson situation, but they showed promise without him, led by Teddy Bridgewater. I think they'll be good enough soon, but just not yet.

Acoustic Thunderstruck
Mar. 6, 2015 6:32 am

"Thunderstuck" is not only a great song, but one of my favorite drinking songs either.

But this has nothing to do with chugging tequila. This is just damn impressive.


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