(Vox) Mr. Breakfast Announces 100 Greatest Cereals Ever, And the #1 breakfast cereal EVER is Quisp. QUISP! My Favorite! Rounding out the Top Five are: Frosted Flakes, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Honey Nut Cheerios, and Cap?n Crunch.
(SBNation) Week 4 Waiver Wire Pickups For Your Fantasy Team-Here?s how to stop your team from sucking.
(canoe.com) Paris Nudists Finally Get A Place Of Their Own To Let It All Hang Out-There?s a place in France where the naked people will be able to dance?or do whatever they want.
(9News.com) Suspicious wife' caught traveling with husband's entrails-Customs officers at an Austrian airport were taken aback to find human entrails in the bag of a Moroccan traveller, who claimed they belonged to her dead husband, local media have reported.
MONDAY SEPTEMBER 26TH Sept. 26, 2016 7:16 am
(Fox2) Woman Dies Riding A Mattress?On Top Of A Car?Virginia?s own Sidney Zelaya Gonzalez decided that it would be a hoot to ride a mattress. As in, on top of a car. As in, a mattress on top of a car and totally UNSECURED. Not tied down, not strapped in, not attached to the car in any way.
Credit: Arizona Republic
(DeadSpin) High School Boys? Soccer Team Forfeits So It Doesn?t Have To Play Girls-The boy?s soccer team from Faith Christian School in Mesa, Arizona might have some face to save. They made the decision to forfeit a game against Foothills Academy College Prep because that school?s team has two chicks playing on it.
(MensHealth) Sex Move That Is Most Likely To Lead To?More Sex; If you wanna keep the nookie coming, researchers say that there?s one simple move to keep her back arching. A study from the Sex Information And Education Council Of Canada and Trojan Condoms (of course) found that spending six minutes cuddling after sex increased the pleasure of the lady by 30%.
(Mirror) Jilted woman gets revenge by zapping cheating boyfriend's CROTCH with a stun gun
(Mirror) Mystic man claims he can tell woman's fortune by fondling her breast.
FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 23RD Sept. 23, 2016 8:58 am
(ESPN) The NL Wildcard Could Get Nuts-Jayson Stark of ESPN has posed an interesting possibility in Major League Baseball that has never happened in the history of the sport?s Wildcard era: a 3-way tie. The New York Mets, St. Louis Cardinals, and San Francisco Giants are so close together that this is actually a possibility.
(Jezebel) London's Gymbox Health Club offers Boob Aerobics. The club says the three-step program will increase breast measurements by at least two inches and one cup size after just eight classes.
(PsychologyToday) You Won?t Believe What Size The Average Woman Is-After years of being told that the average size of American women is 14, a new study has finally determined what it really is.
(NYPost) The world's worst customer refuses to accept that Subway ran out of meatballs
(Yahoo!News) Teen Smokes, Sprays Air Freshener, Blows Up Family Car-What's worse than been a teen with "issues?" A teen with issues that doesn't understand basic chemistry.
THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 22ND Sept. 22, 2016 8:01 am
USA Today Sports
(USAToday) Some speculation surrounding Adrian Peterson and his possible injury.In a matter of a few hours yesterday, Vikings fans went from optimistic, to hopeful, to being in total despair.Their gripe? Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson?who started yesterday not being ruled out for this Sunday?s game?later announced he would have surgery on the knee and may miss three to four weeks. And then, about an hour later, it was reported that Peterson also has a torn LCL and will now be sidelined for three to four months.
(OttawaCitizen) He Smuggled Gold From The Canadian Mint In His Rectum-Mint employee dove deep to commit his crime.
Deadly Erection-Giving Spiders Found In Banana Batch
Woman Dies In Candle Fire Waiting For Imaginary Boyfriend;
(TheSun) Guys: Would you risk Botox for your nether regions? The op, which costs around $3600, helps to ease sweating, reduce the appearance of wrinkles and helps make the scrotum appear larger, experts say
WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 21 Sept. 21, 2016 7:35 am
(TMZ) The Internet Can't Handle The Brangelina Divorce-News of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's divorce has broken the Internet
(TheLocal) Naked And Blood-Covered Is No Way To Go Through A Hen House, Son-An old lady in Sweden woke up to loud noises coming out of her hen house. She rightly assumed it was a fox or some other creature terrorizing her beloved chickens. Well, she was wrong. What she saw was a naked man in his 30?s covered in blood crawling out of the shed.
(13NewsNow) Finding Random Intestines Can Ruin Your Golf Game-In Newport News, Virginia some golfers stumbled across something that they had never seen on a golf course before.
(DailyMail) Doctor planning world's first head transplant says he is preparing for his 'Frankenstein' surgery by REANIMATING human corpses
(Mirror) Woman orders spare ribs from Chinese restaurant - but claims she actually received DOG PAWS
TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 20TH Sept. 20, 2016 7:22 am
(DangerousMinds) Let?s See Your O-Face-Art is wonderful. How else could a photographer coax 15 women into getting off while he photographed them at the point of no return? That is what Albert Pocej set out to do.
The Most Acceptable Excuses To Call In Sick- Bosses reveal the sick day excuses that they believe the most
(UPI) Beer Makes You Happier-Drinking beer does make you friendlier, happier, less inhibited ? maybe even sexier.
Eco-Friendly Suit Absorbs You When You Are Dead-If you want to save the planet, let a mushroom suit absorb you-Many people want to reduce their carbon footprint to help save the planet from climate change. One unique burial method can help. (HuffingtonPost)
(Metro) Man Accuses Ex Of Overfeeding His Hamster In Emergency Call-Stupid emergency calls never seem to get old?unless, of course, you are the dispatcher taking the calls. Such is the case in England, where a man made the call desperate to get his hamster back from his ex-girlfriend.
MONDAY SEPTEMBER 19TH Sept. 19, 2016 8:47 am
(NYMag) Japan Concerned About Virgin Surplus-Not enough people are getting jiggy with it in Japan.
(TribStar) Handcuffed Man Steals Police Car-
A Terre Haute, Indiana man turned out to be quite the escape artist. Almost. This Houdini-wannabe was busted for robbery, had his hands cuffed behind his back, and was loaded into the back of the car. Somehow though, he managed to steal the squad car and drive it away. (BarStoolSports) College Football Bonehead Play Of The Year: So Far-Number one rule of sports: Think-If you were fortunate enough to see the Clemson/South Carolina State game on Saturday, then you saw one of the most unusual, careless, unnecessary, and stupid touchtowns ever.
FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 16TH Sept. 16, 2016 7:15 am
(MensHealth) What Positions Women Hate Most-Chicks expect you to know. Men?s Health surveyed 1,200 ?Women?s Health? readers about what sex gets them hot ? and not ? and THESE the five sexual positions that women hate the most
(Metro) Apple Blocks Porn Hidden In iOS 10-Soon after Apple brought iOS 10 to the world, it was discovered that typed the word ?butt? into the GIF search you could find a My Little Pony character in a rather ?cheeky? position
(Maxim) Just what we need...more meddling with football. While on a mission to make the NFL more safe for players,Roger Goodell seems to be finding new and interesting ways to drive fans crazy.
Is Sex With A Robot Cheating?
(ABCActionNews) Florida Tickets Driver For Partially Obscured Web Address...Seriously.Victoria Herrington of Lakeland, Florida ? of course, Florida ? got a rude surprise when she was pulled over by local police and fined $114 for having an obscured license plate. The view of the plate was partially blocked by the license plate frame that the dealer had put on the car. But wait - it gets better.
THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 15 Sept. 15, 2016 8:54 am
(DailyMail) Man Offers To Sell His Wife On eBay-What would you do if you came home from work one day to your wife nagging and whining about how you were burning the candle at both ends? Ignore her? Argue with her? Simon O?Kane decided to list his wife, Leandra, on eBay.
(newser.com) Woman sues sex toy maker for invading her privacy-A woman buys a vibrator, uses it, and discovers the company that built it is tracking just what she does with it and how often. And yes, she's suing.
(WIAT) Distracted Driver Crashes Into Camel..In Sardis City, Alabama, a teen was texting and driving causing him to crash his car. When he looked up to see what he hit it turned out to be a camel.
(Maxim) Sleep Naked - It?s Better For You-Naked sleeping isn?t just comfy, but now there is data that suggests it?s good for you!
How Much Gas Do You Have Left With The Light Comes On? Find Out!; Everyone knows that antsy feeling you get when you?re on the highway, your gas light comes on and there?s not a station in sight. Do you know how much gas you have left? Now you can thanks to yourmechanic.com
(nj.com) Jesus Photographed Over World Trade Center Site-Jesus shows up everywhere - in a grilled cheese...in a tree...now, he is at The World Trade Center Side. It?s a cool pic anyway.
WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 14TH Sept. 14, 2016 7:01 am
(NewZealandHerald) Keeping Your Cell Phone In Your Pants Could Damage Your Junk-Your sperm may be allergic to radiation
(TheLocal) Plane Has To Turn Around Because Of Brawling Passengers-A plane ready for take off had to head back to the terminal because of passengers fighting over seats
Badass Kid Pulls Out Own Tooth With Bow And Arrow-When five-year-old Addison Gibbs had a loose tooth, she wanted that sucker ? and the Tooth Fairy?s cash payout ? NOW.
(NYPost) The graham cracker was invented to stop your sexual urges-Sylvester Graham hated sex. The puritanical 19th-century minister preached that ?carnal desire? caused headaches, epilepsy and even insanity.To stop his followers from getting frisky, he invented a bland, biscuit-like cracker to ?cure? masturbation and quell sexual urges in 1829.
(TheSun) Are You Sure That?s A Light Saber Yoda?s Holding? Yoda seems to be REALLY excited about his upcoming battle, and don?t mess with Hello Kitty. Check out these SERIOUSLY failed attempts at creative cakes.
TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 13TH Sept. 13, 2016 5:32 am
(TMZ) Two Men Rush Stage During Lochte's 'DWTS' Debut-The incident didn't appear on camera, but was captured and posted online by a fan via Instagram. Several female protesters were also removed from the audience. At press time, no one had offered a statement as to what the protestors were focused on.
(Melanie Maxwell | MLive.com)
(MLive) Michigan Football Coach Addresses ?Boogergate?-Harbaugh says he didn?t eat a booger on TV-Sometimes cameras catch sports figures doing some embarrassing things on camera. Michigan?s football coach is trying to deny what he?s accused of.
(DailyMail) Here's a Hint-When Guarding the Queen-Don?t Snort Coke off Your Sword. The British Ministry of Defense has launched an investigation into a video that appears to show Major James Coleby of the Coldstream Guard sniffing a ?white powder? off of a ceremonial sword while he was supposed to be on-duty.
(clarionledger) 3 Cops get Into Accidents While Responding to Calls About Each Other's Accidents-This was not a good weekend for the Mississippi Highway Patrol. A trooper responding to an accident in Lincoln County apparently got into an accident himself. The cop that responded to that second accident put his comrade in his car and was en route to a local hospital when he also wrecked! A third officer who responded to the accident of the second officer was also injured in a car accident.
(Mirror.co.uk) Woman in high heels drags man around busy streets on a Dog Leash. According to witnesses, the woman would occasionally stop during her walk and stroked or petted the man?s head, telling passers-by that he was her "dog", successfully raising the eyebrows and dropping the jaws of all present.
MONDAY SEPTEMBER 12TH Sept. 12, 2016 7:12 am
Scary Clowns Are NOT Lurking Around North Carolina...Yet.
(NyDailyNews) Where NOT To Take Your Blow-Up Doll Bachelor Party Pix-A bachelor party from England thought it would be funny to take pictures of them with a blowup doll at the 9/11 Memorial. They were quickly asked to leave.
Man Steals Donation Jar From A Beef Jerky Emporium
(FoodandWine) Another $6 Supermarket Wine Just Was Named One of the World's Best-And you can get it at WalMart!
Hey Baldie! Get a Man-Weave
THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 8TH Sept. 8, 2016 8:31 am
Welcome to Walmart. May I Fondle You?
(Independent.co.uk) Italy Says Loving Yourself in Public is NOT a Crime-A 69-year-old man was sentenced to three months in prison after being caught with his pants down and his hands busy on the streets of Catania, but Supreme Court judges threw out his conviction saying ?the act is not included in the law of crime.?
(KansasCityStar) Back to the Wife? Nah, I?ll Just Stay Here in Jail-Given the choice of staying in jail or going home to his wife, does he makes the right choice?
Woman Gets A World Record For Being The Youngest Female With A Full Beard
(USATodayHSS) The Best Onside Kick Ever- Hopefully Kelly Catholic kicker Adrian Media meant to kick it off his opponent?s head. In any case, it worked and his team recovered.
WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 7TH Sept. 7, 2016 6:44 am
(Forbes) What to Expect Later Today When Apple Unveils Your New Phone. Rumors have been swirling about what the company is packing into the new version of the smartphone. As we told you before, several new hands-free features are anticipated as well as a new camera.
(TheSun) Obese Model Trying To Become The World's Fattest Woman- Texas woman is trying to hit a thousand pounds-Monica's daily diet consists of six biscuits, six sausages, sugary cereal, two weight gain shakes, four McChicken sandwiches, four double cheeseburgers, large French fries, 30 chicken nuggets, macaroni and cheese and a gallon of ice cream
(Express) IKEA Smells Like Crap? No, Really Shopping at the flagship IKEA store in Älmhult, Sweden? You?ll need a gas mask. Ever since IKEA moved from the original site to a new location in 2012, locals have been complaining about the smell.
(OrlandoSentinel) Nothing Says Love Like Getting Your Toddler a Hooker...Oscar Vega wanted to hang with his two-year-old son, but couldn?t think of anything real fun to do. So the two of them headed out to the streets of Greenacres, Florida looking for?a hooker
PoopFarter Takes Over Subway Car. Not sure what his goal was, but he managed to entertain a car full of commuters.
(DailyMail) Town Deals With Spider Infestation By Eating Them-How would you deal with a spider infestation? For the people of Skuon, Cambodia, they decided to fry up the creatures and eat them.
(Mirror) Is That A Week?s Worth of Groceries in Your Panties, or Just Really Happy To See me? Sure, granny panties are a lot more comfortable?and apparently, they also make great storage places when you?re shoplifting.
WEDNESDAY AUGUST 31ST Aug. 31, 2016 7:28 am
(Telegraph) Woman can lick her eye and elbow with extraordinarily long tongue
(WGNO) Famed Louisiana pink dolphin not pregnant, but ?dates? often
(LincolnJournalStar) If The Burglar Leaves Your Computer But Eats Your Pop Tarts, Is It Really A Crime? It was a mess at Erickson Sullivan Architects in Lincoln Nebraska Monday morning. The place was ransacked, chairs overturned and files scattered. They estimate about $5-grand in damages. But the crooks didn?t steal anything? except the Pop Tarts.
(metro) Second couple have hedge stolen sparking fears of serial bush burglar
(WOWT) He Loves Her More Than His Twig and Berries-He made her mad enough to stab him in the crotch, but he still loves her and doesn?t want to press charges.
(WKBW) Batman Can Steal All the Beer He Wants-Once they found out who he was, convenience store owners in Buffalo won?t prosecute a robber dressed at Batman.
Andrew Luck ? The NFL?s Highest Paid Tool- Andrew Luck, who could have any phone (or anything) he wants after signing a $140-million-dollar contract, has chosen the same phone as your nana.
(Independent) You?d Think After Being Poisoned, They Wouldn?t Eat the Leftovers-Good news ? the Erdal family in Turkey survived a bad case of food poisoning. The family of four had to spend a week in the hospital after eating one of mom?s meals. But everybody recovered and once back home they invited the neighborhood for a big celebration dinner. Bad news ? they let mom cook again.
(VOCM) Lobster festival attendees forced to eat hotdogs instead after Air Canada loses lobsters-Jackie Panuisiak hosts the annual Northern Alberta Lobster Festival in the community of Cotillion. She had ordered some 145 pounds of live lobster to be shipped from this province to Alberta. The problem is that the lobsters didn't arrive.
THURSDAY AUGUST 25TH Aug. 25, 2016 8:04 am
(CBC) Breaking News ? On the Internet, Everybody is Lying-Talk about an impossible job. A team of researchers from Indiana Purdue Fort Wayne set out to discover "whether or not people are depicting their true selves online."
(ESPN) From Douchebag to Dance Champ? Lochte Trying to Weasel Into ?DWTS?-Could dancing with a half-naked woman on national TV every week fix Ryan Lochte?s reputation?
(SanAntonioExpress) Is That a Glock in Your Pocket, or Are You Here for the Protest?-Jessica Jin couldn?t give the keynote speech during her anti-gun protest at the University of Texas in Austin. She was out of breath from carrying 55-pound boxes of sex toys around campus.
(CBSNewYork) Shakespeare Sucks, But What if We Did it Naked?-The mere mention of Shakespeare can put anyone to sleep. But what if all the actors were hot, naked women? That?s the plan next month, as an all-female nude cast will present Shakespeare?s ?The Tempest? in Prospect Park in Brooklyn.
(News24) He was drunk enough to get into bed with his mother-in-law, and she was drunk enough to forgive and forget. There are a few different levels of drunk. There?s happy but probably shouldn?t drive drunk. There?s ?sloppy and booty calling your ex drunk.? And then there?s ?being caught naked in bed with your mother-in-law drunk.? Wait, what?
WEDNESDAY AUGUST 24TH Aug. 24, 2016 7:15 am
(12News) Researchers Developing the ?Perfect Condom?- An Arizona State University research scientist has created a new type of condom that ?feels just like skin? on both sides.
(BristolPost) Wanna Buy Some Whale Vomit? Tom Derrick didn?t think much of the ?rubbery? rock he found on the beach near Bristol, England. But when he showed the ?waxy? lump to his fisherman dad, Alan Derrick could tell by the smell it was something special.
(KUTV) Knife Fight Breaks Out on Golf Course-A man was taken to Jail Saturday night after a fight broke out among golfers in Payson, Utah. According to Payson Police, a group of four golfers were playing ahead of Lee Johnson and his wife. The man and woman thought that the group was going too slow and wanted to play through, but the group did not want them too. This begins the-conflict..
Watch Michael Phelps hit Ryan Lochte right in the Speedo -
When he got back from Rio, Ryan Lochte got whacked by Speedo when they cancelled his endorsement. A few years ago, Michael Phelps whacked Lochte in the naughty bits with a remote controlled boat. Wonder which one hurt more?
Dude Hides Side Piece Under the Bed ? The Wife Finds Her Anyway- C?mon man, that?s the first place she?ll look.
TUESDAY AUGUST 23RD Aug. 23, 2016 6:00 am
(AP) Cincinnati Zoo Says -Quit Making Fun of Our Dead Gorilla-Remember Harambe ? the gorilla that was shot at the Cincinnati Zoo when the kid fell into his cage? Yeah ? he?s still dead.
(KentMessenger) Pokémon Go is Turning Your Kids Into Drug Crazed Sex Addicts-The folks of Allington, England want to get those Pokémon playing kids out of the park and back in front of the TV where they belong
(WTAE) Pizza Delivery at Police Station Goes Terribly Wrong-When the guy shows up at the cop shop with pizza, they all expected to eat until they saw the long chain and the look on the guy?s face.
(Digit) Pet Sitter Needed ? Gorilla Experience Preferred; Pierre and Eliane Thivilon haven?t left their house for an overnight trip for 18 years because they can?t find a sitter for their pet gorilla.
(BusinessInsider) KFC Has Created Fried Chicken Scented Sunscreen-Kentucky Fried Chicken gets into the skin care game with a new chicken scented sunscreen, and it?s already sold out.
(Mirror.co.uk) Spanish town shuns traditional bull run and replaces it with Indiana Jones-style boulders chase