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On-Air » Kelly Wilde » Blog

Week of October 20th, 2014
Oct. 20, 2014 7:49 am




Click on the Logo to get the latest lessons in Radio Creativity



FRIDAY OCTOBER 24TH
  • NBA No Solution to Resolution
  • Governmental Bunny Massages
  • Kenny G  Heads to Hong Kong
  • Hello Dahli and Bless You! Selena Gomez
  • Flu-Shot-To Go
  • Got my Apple 1 for less than a Million (with special guest Mayor Tim Kabat)
  • 18-Month Old Stuck in Toy Machine

THURSDAY OCTOBER 23RD
  • Man Set on Fire over Spaghetti & Meatballs (see below)
  • An Ogling Obama?
  • Baseball-Not Berry Berry Good
  • Room With a Bad "View"
  • McConaughey Speaks for All Mankind
  • The 1-6 Million Dollar Halloween Costume (see below)


WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 22ND
  • Rain Check on the High Five for  the Ebola Csar!  
  • Woman Sleeps 22 Hours a Day
  • Christ?  Table for 2?
  • Heaven Has a New Angel-His name?  Ox Baker
  • Can't Run-Too Much Meat in My Pants
TUESDAY OCTOBER 21ST
  • For the Safest Sex on Campus-Go Beavers!
  • Big Breasts Cause Wrecks
  • Gaga More Than  Engaged?

MONDAY OCTOBER 20TH
  • A Plethora of Praise for Peyton
  • TSA Sends One Away]
  • A Rabbi -a Gang Member and a Police Officer 
  • NFL Warned of Ebola
  • The problem Monkeys of Gibraltar
  • Genie Stops Guy's "Grindin"


FRIDAY OCTOBER 24TH
A  very happy 50th birthday to former porn star Stephanie Rage! 




At just a smidge over five feet tall she was one of the more petite performers in the business -- which became her trademark.You may recognize her body of classic work in such poignant films as Boobs a Lot-The Oversexual Tourist -Frisky Fables Wrong Arm of the Law and Crocodile Blondee.





FRIDAY OCTOBER 24TH



18-month-old Colin Lambert climbed into a toy machine in a Maryville, Tennessee Laundromat and couldn't get out. The boy climbed in when his grandmother looked away to check a text message. Firefighters got Colin out of the machine and it only cost them 8 dollars in quarters   (ABC)

 On a side note-People in Colin's family have a history of getting stuck. His aunt locked herself in a bathroom at TCBY Yogurt when she was younger while his uncle once got stuck in a picnic table and had to be rescued by firefighters.


THURSDAY OCTOBER 23RD

The Clearwater, Florida police recently arrested Melissa Sellers for setting her roommate, Carlos Ortiz Jr., on fire. She doused him with nail polish remover and ignited him with a lighter or cigarette because he threw out her spaghetti and meatballs. (NYDailyNews)





MorphCostumes is selling a $1.6 million Halloween costume. The skin-tight spandex suit covers the entire body and is encrusted with 70,000 diamonds. When asked why he would even consider buying it, one potential customer said.."If that doesn't get me a buttload of Fun Size Snickers-nothing will..." (CNN)




WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 22nd


Lawton, Oklahoma police recently arrested Kristi Rhines after she tried to leave a restaurant without paying. When her bill arrived Rhines said her husband was coming to pay it. When a manager asked Kristi her husband's name she said she was legally married to Jesus Christ.  The woman ordered a fish sandwich, and when waiters went to clear her table, they ended up hauling away 12 baskets of leftover fish sandwich





TUESDAY OCTOBER 21ST



Two mobile billboards caused 517 accidents in Moscow in one day. The billboards were placed on 30 trucks and featured a large picture of a woman's breasts. Each ad had the slogan: ?They Attract'. The mobile ad was designed to show the effectiveness of on-the-go marketing. (AutoBlog)




MONDAY OCTOBER 20TH






A woman from the United Arab Emirates recently stopped sleeping with her husband. She told him to ask her parents why their lovemaking stopped. The parents told their son-in-law that their daughter was a genie and their lovemaking was being blocked by a djinn. that was inside of her.  I looked up the word "djinn" and the English Translation is "Major Anthony Nelson". (BBC)








Week of October 13th, 2014
Oct. 13, 2014 8:04 am


Click on the Logo to get the latest lessons in Radio Creativity

FRIDAY OCTOBER 17TH
  • Stuck Having Sex in the Sea
  • Have to Have Hitler's House?
  • Pay With an Apple 
  • Clowns Are Critical
  • What's That Fan Doing Under That Podium?


WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 15TH
  • Obama Teens Pristine!
  • Women Talk Erectile Dysfunction
  • Iggy is It
  • The 5 Day Erection-No One Cares About
  • A Cowboy Stole Dillard's Underwear
  • Man Loves Machine-Seriously Loves Machine

TUESDAY OCTOBER 14TH
  • Wanna Make More Money?-Plant Your Seed
  • Guantanamo's Got to Go!
  • Hell with Waldo..Where's Kim Jung Un?
  • Movin' Those Mammies  to Mozart


MONDAY OCTOBER 13TH
  • Shake the Hand of The Man  for 32 Grand
  • A Hormone To Make you Horny
  • I Can't Find Ebola on the Map
  • China Man Sticks Metal Rod Up Manhood
  • Man Hides 49 Bags of Crack in his Crack



Happy 43rd birthday to porn veteran Jessica Jewel! 

Making her porn debut in 1988, she has also appeared under the names Heather Hornay, Jessica Collins, and Jessica Rabbit, You may recognize Jessica's acting techniques in the epic blockbusters ?House of Hooters," ?Monica Lewdinski and the Insatiable Interns,?  ?Analyze These? and ?Who Let the Twins Out.?






FRIDAY OCTOBER 17TH



An Italian couple was hospitalized after having sex in the ocean and getting their bodies stuck together from the suction in the tide. The couple was safely separated after paramedics put them in an old woman's yard and she came out and poured hot water on them...
 (NYDaily News)



WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 15TH

Seattle resident Ed Smith has had 701 sexual partners over the past 49 years. He has made love to 700 cars , one helicopter and one woman. Ed says his favorite car is a VW Beetle named Vanilla.


TUESDAY, OCTOBER 14TH



Las Vegas-based tattoo model Sara X displays her unique talent, by dancing to Mozart's Eine kleine Nachtmusik with her breasts.


MONDAY, OCTOBER 13TH

52 year-old man from China spurned his Viagra prescription in favor of inserting a 5-inch steel rod into his manhood.  A hospital spokesman tells the Mirror: "He believed that using this would give him a prolonged sexual experience. However, the rod went further than intended into the man's organ and ended up lodged in his bladder during intercourse. (elitedaily)


The Stamford, Connecticut police recently arrested Michael Ford after they received a tip that he was selling drugs on a street corner. They approached Michael and asked if he had any crack. He admitted to having weed before cops saw crack nearby. Michael was strip searched at the police station where officers found 49 bags of crack between his butt cheeks. (Stamford411)



Week of October 6th, 2014
Oct. 6, 2014 6:55 am



http://www.classicrock1001.com/on-air/kelly_wilde/audio/

Click HERE to get the latest Lessons in Radio Creativity"


FRIDAY, OCTOBER 10TH
"Not My WIlle Stargell!"
I Found Waldo in a Brawl
Obama & The Terrible, Horrible, No Good ,Very Bad ,Secret Service 
Independence Day Too?
Woman gets Pregnant from Dwarf Stripper at Her Bachelorette Party


THURSDAY, OCTOBER 9TH
Condom Pants
Posh Spice is what the UN "really wants"
Copulating in a Car Car
STDs for You and Me(?)


WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 8TH
The Blood Moon
The Glamburger
Don't Like the Kardashians?  Blame Osca
Dogs and Cats Living Together-No-Really Living Together
Ebola is Number 2
Want a New Penis?


TUESDAY, OCTOBER 7th
Pow-Right Through the Stomach
The 1-Million Dollar Wedding
Astronauts to "Sleep it Off"
The 17-Hour Erection
Concealing Your Farts


MONDAY, OCTOBER 6TH
  • Paparazzi Pestering the Prince
  • Cereal Seiged By Setbacks
  • Greasin' that Broken Heart with Olive Oil
  • CDC is Scaring Me\
  • Saturday Morning Cartoons-Gone-But Not Forgotten
  • When Bachelorette Parties Attack (Story below)










Happy 37th Birthday to one of my favorites Milan Summer. 



Miilan entered the biz when she was 29 and her acting talent is stiill applauded in such theatrical adventures as Boobsville's Working Girls-Hooter Nation 5-Double Air Bags 22 and My Mama Does the Hanky Panky









FRIDAY, OCTOBER 10TH




A video has surfaced of a brawl at Piccadilly Station in Great Britain involving a group of Where's Waldo impersonators. Scotland Yard has no leads or suspects as they can't find any of them


WOMAN GETS PREGNANT FROM DWARF STRIPPER AT BACHELORETTE PARTY


A London woman had sex with a dwarf stripper at her bachelorette party and then gave birth to a child with dwarfism 9 months later. The woman's husband had no idea she cheated until the baby was born.The woman's mother tells The Sun: Neither her closest female friends or her family knew she had had sex with the stripper. Once she had her son in her arms, she broke down and confessed what had happened. (KSFM)

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 9TH



CONDOM PANTS








Ever slapped on a condom and thought, ?What more can I do?? Enter condom pants. They basically slip on like a pair of underwear and has been developed to cover the entire crotch area during sex in order to lower the risk of catching sexually transmitted diseases and clearly geared toward denying you any sense of pleasure.  .Scro-guard costs $19.99 -is machine washable and reduces skin on skin contact, lowering the risk of catching infections like herpes or genital warts, which are transmitted through skin-to-skin contact.




Wisconsin couple Heather Basten, and Travis Husnik were arrested for drunk driving by Oconto County Sheriff?s Department deputies after their car was spotted drifting into oncoming traffic Once the two were placed in the back of the patrol car and en route to the station one of the policemen, ?observed Travis lay onto Heather in the backseat.? The cop then saw ?Heather?s legs go up touching the ceiling and heard her begin to moan loudly.?Sure enough they popped the door and got an eyeful of the dreaded Sexual Intercourse!" (SmokingGun)









WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 8TH








London's Honky Tonk Eatery is selling a $1,768 burger called "The Glamburger." It contains Kobe beef, New Zealand venison, Canadian lobster, beluga caviar, a duck egg and an edible gold leaf. The burger has 2,618 calories.  and comes with a small bag of Ruffles  (theweek.uk.com)







If you don?t like your penis ? get a new one. Researchers at Wake Forest Institute for Regenerative Medicine in North Carolina say they are only five years away from testing bioengineered penises on humans. The scientists hope to get the penises approved by the US Food and Drug so they can start testing them on human subjects. So far, they?ve only been successful with rabbits. Which brings up a valid question..How do they hop? (TheGuardian)

TUESDAY OCTOBER 7TH


Mr Fortright explains "How to Conceal a Fart"


Meet Jason Garnett-He had a 17-Hour Erection


Jason Garnett woke up last Friday morning with an erection that refused to go down. In fact, Garnett?s little soldier stood at attention for 17 hours. He apparently tried everything including going for a long run?and even an ice cold bath but several hours later he was still as completely ?enthused? as he was when he woke earlier that day. He finally decided to go to the emergency room and have it checked out where he was diagnosed with priapism ? which is actually pretty painful ? doctors s had to take a needle and drain what was over two pints of blood. Would anyone mind if I fainted on the spot? (HuffingtonPost)



The One-Million Dollar Wedding Package


The W Hotel in Miami is offering a $1 million wedding package. The package includes a four-night pre-wedding getaway in South Beach, a sea plane ride, cocktails on a 122-foot yacht, a five-course candlelight dinner on the Atlantic Ocean, accomodations in a suite, personal butlers for both the bride and groom, spa treatments, hair and makeup, a beach ceremony, a seven-piece band or DJ, a fashion photo booth and a Bora Bora honeymoon. and during the reception they'll put out ham sandwiches at 10:30 (1clicknews)







MONDAY OCTOBER 6TH



A Seattle woman was beaten at a gas station by a bachelorette party who fled the scene. Authorities are warning citizens to be on the lookout for five women in penis necklaces who smell like tequila. (spdblotter.com)








A British man was jailed for killing a friend who poked his girlfriend on Facebook. Something tells me that ain't the only place he poked her. Way Ohhh




Melanie Nash and several other people dug up her father's Lancaster, New Hampshire grave because she believed he was buried with his 'real will'. Eddie Nash died in 2004 from a heart attack. Melanie dug up the grave because she did not receive anything when her father died and thought her sister hid the will. She only found a pack of cigarettes in his hand.  (DenverPost.com)

 



16 different Ukrainian men are running for Parliament under the name Darth Vader. There is also a man running under the name Chewbacca and a man running as Yoda. (nydailynews.com) 



FRIDAY OCTOBER 3RD
Sept. 29, 2014 7:31 am

Ashley Huff was arrested after Gainesville, Florida police. found her in possession of a spoon covered with a suspicious residue. Huff claimed she wasn?t using, selling, or making meth. She spent a month in jail before lab results revealed the 'meth' was really encrusted Spaghetti Os spaghetti sauce. Huff was released and may sue for malicious prosecution and unlawful arrest. (KRON 4)





One middle school recently pulled off one of the most creative--and creatively named--trick plays we've seen. Check out "The Ugly Kardashian"



WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 24TH
Sept. 24, 2014 8:52 am



Happy 35th birthday to East German talent Katja Kassin! .  Katja's amazing acting prowess was dominant in such epics as Apple Bottomz 1-Babes in Pornland 17: Brunette Babes-Big Booty Cuties 2-Whatabooty 7-Camp Cuddly Pines Power Tool Massacre











TMZ claims adult film star Missy Martinez was injured during a recent film shoot, when the adult toy she was using began shooting sparks.  She wants the toy's maker to investigate.








Bossip.com claims transgender model Tatiana Williams has spent $90,000 injecting 8 pounds of silicone into each of her butt cheeks. She has spent 20 years perfecting her 60-inch booty. (DailyStar.co)

TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 23RD
Sept. 23, 2014 7:33 am



Happy 25th to Dani Daniels!  Danni was the Penthouse ?Pet of the Month? for January 2012,  You many recognize her incredible character portrayals in such films as Girls Kissing Girls, Girls Massaging Girls, Gleeful Giggling Girls, Squeal If You're Ticklish and Bonnie and Glide  




Tampa, Florida massage therapist Jasmine Tridevil recently had surgery to add a third breast to her chest. She tells WTKS that she did it because she wanted to make herself unattractive to men; and wants to star in an MTV  reality show called Jasmine's Jugs..So that's what I need to do to star in Kelly's Kanickies Here's her Facebook Page







Australian Ann Bendouli was walking her Jack Russell Terrier when a Staffordshire Terrier attacked it. She did the first thing that came to her mind -- stuck her finger in the attacking dog's butt. (Mirror UK)

MONDAY SEPTEMBER 22ND
Sept. 22, 2014 6:17 am


A Malaysian man was hospitalized after he inserted metal balls into his privates to make them look bigger. Doctors say the man's balls had started to rust. Which usually doesn't start to happen until after a man is married  (Bloomgist)



Archaeologists discovered a skeleton couple that have been holding hands for 700 years. Making it the longest time a guy had to wait before making it to first base (Discovery)



Happy 39th birthday to former ebony porn star Cherry Lee! Cherry left porn to focus on a career as a professional Doula -- a person who provides informational, emotional and physical support to a mother, during child birth,? Hera cting has been described as "precise" and is very promionernt in such films as Bootylicious 25, Nubian Nurse Orgy, My Baby Got Back 24, Naughty Wives Club  and ?Ebony Does Ivory 4"





Dog Sings "Hava Nagilah" With Owner 


TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 16TH
Sept. 16, 2014 8:36 am


Here?s two fighters knocking each other out with simultaneous kicks to the nads. [Forward to 1:04]



MONDAY SEPTEMBER 15TH
Sept. 15, 2014 6:20 am


Click on the Logo to get today's Lessons in Radio Creativity
  • Sara' Says She's Sorry
  • God Sends Bat to Stop Guitar Playing
  • NOW Want Goodell Gone now
  • Kudos to the National Felon League

A very happy 30th birthday to Filipino porn star Jazmine Leih


You?ve seen Jazmine and her all natural ?C? cups in the features:  ?Big Breasted Bubble Bath,? ?Breast of Hawaii,? ?Asian Booty" and "Me Love You Long Time 121"




Dental Patient on Anesthesia sees Hitch Hiking Lizard (EbaumsWorld)

WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 10TH
Sept. 10, 2014 8:20 am







Guy Plays "99 Red Balloons" on Red Balloons"

TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 9TH
Sept. 9, 2014 7:34 am

Cuz She's the Only One...
The Amazing Tiger Woman of Texas...(HuffingtonPost)

MONDAY AUGUST 8TH
Sept. 8, 2014 8:23 am







A Japanese farmer has grown a watermelon that looks amazingly like a large, scrumptious butt. (Kotaku)


FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 5TH
Sept. 5, 2014 7:48 am




Happy 34th birthday to African-American porn actress Osa Lovely! 

Besideas being a popular mattress actress,  Osa enjoys gardening and growing bonsai trees.You may recognize this ebony princess from the hit films: "Black Feet on Booty Street 6  ?40 Ounce Bounce,??Self-Served Chocolate,? ?Booty Worship,?  ?The Young and the Bootieful? 



Ant Smith is a 47-year-old engineer from London and he?s proud to admit that he has a REALLY small dongle. Less than 4 inches in full blown excitement to be exact? And he?s on crusade to start a Small Penis Acceptance Movement.  In fact, Smith is so comfortable with his cocktail wiener -- that he wrote a poem about it and it?s gone viral  (Vice)


So...This is WEDNESDAY-SEPTEMBER 3RD
Sept. 3, 2014 9:40 am


  • Nude celebrities deserve a handmade card
  • Texting and driving could leave you with a pole in your butt
  • If you're going to buy sex toys-buy em at Wal-Mart.
  • Kids aren't peeing in the pool like they used to
  • 50-percent of you ladies can't find your vagina..


A happy 51st birthday to porn legend Amber Lynn! 

Amber was introduced to the porn scene after striking up a friendship with Althea Flynt, the wife of Hustler?s Larry Flynt? At her peak, she was also a stripper, earning up to $25,000 a week for five shows a day.Amber has a career that spans from the 1980?s until today -- which includes the classic films: ?Ball Street,? ?Crocodile Blondee,? The Poonies,? ?Friday the 13th: A Nude Beginning,? and ?The Good, the Bad & the Horny."



20-year-old Geoffrey Greene and 23-year-old Kia Porter were busted in an attempt to swipe four sex aids from the South Euclid, Ohio Walmart around 2 a.m. last Wednesday...Security spotted the couple, as they were purchasing items at a self-checkout counter but had secretly stashed about $30 worth of toys inside her purse. When security approached the couple, the woman became belligerent as the guards convinced her to turn over her purse with the stolen items? revealing a couple of Trojan vibrating rings and ?massager? devices... (UPI)

TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 2ND
Sept. 2, 2014 6:00 am







Guy Tapes Laser Pointer to his Cat's head

So...This is Friday, August 29th
Aug. 29, 2014 6:49 am

Cute Little Girl WINS the Ice Bucket Challenge - Drops the F-Bomb!

So...This is Thursday, August 28th
Aug. 28, 2014 7:10 am




Happy 32nd birthday to mattress actress Crystal Ray! 


Crystal?s fame was mostly due to her relatable ?real girl? look, rather than the stereo-typical fake breasted blondes? Her build is slightly underweight, but attractive? pretty, yet not overwhelming?And her acting-stellar in such epic dramas as ? ?Farmers Daughters,?  ?University Oral Exams,? ?Two in the Seat,? and ?Stick It Where the Sun Don't Shine"




Bluffton Today claims a brother and sister were recently arrested after they were caught having relations in Effingham County, Georgia. 20 year-old Chris Buckner and her 25 year-old brother, Tim Savoy, allegedly got frisky in a church parking lot after watching "The Notebook."  (HuffingtonPost)

So...This is WEDNESDAY AUGUST 27TH
Aug. 27, 2014 6:48 am










A very happy 35th birthday to the legendary fetish actress Aiden Starr!



In 1990's, when Aiden began performing fetish porn, she did it solely for the cameras -- not for the money. As an exhibitionist, it?s always been about the thrill for her. Aiden?s lengthy career includes the films: ?Is Your Mother Home?? ?The House on Hooter Hill,? ?The Honeymoaners,? ?Boobaholics Anonymous 3," and ?Kung-Fu Nurses a Go-Go.?





Hey Kids..Watch seemingly naked couples tase each other in slow motion.


No G Spot????

It?s like the mythical Bigfoot, .According to a new study from Italy, researchers are suggesting that the infamous G-spot DOES NOT exist. Instead, it?s a much more intimate, complex area of plumbing featuring ?highly dynamic and sensitive structures. Yes, structures. Plural. Which is great for inexperienced or clumsy guys because it means there?s a much bigger target to work with and not one, tiny, magical ?spot.?  My Favorite "G Spot" Joke- I finally found my wife?s G-spot after 5 years -- it was in her sister.   (DailyMail)




Wanna See a brawl during a lingerie Football Game?


So...This is TUESDAY AUGUST 26TH
Aug. 26, 2014 8:22 am



A  very happy 47th birthday to busty legend Kelly Madison! 

Kelly?s cousin, Janine Lindemulder is also a famous adult starlet, and states they probably "have each other to thank" for getting into the business The happily married Kelly and her all-natural ?F? cups are still blowing away audiences in such films as:  ?Wet TShirt Contest" ?Happy Horny Holiday Hos,? ?Big Tops Circus,? ?Natty Knockers,? and ?Freshly Squeezed.?



Japanese porn stars are greased up for Boob Aid 2014 -- a 24-hour ?squeeze-a-thon? broadcast on Japanese TV where creepo fans can grope the cans of their favorite porn stars to benefit AIDS research.The nine charitable women involved in Boob Aid 2014 are completely jazzed about the event -- but one actress has one request of the men: Stay calm.?I?m really looking forward to lots of people fondling my boobs,? said Rina Serina. ?But I would be very happy if you would please be delicate.? Believe it or not, this event is also a protest AGAINST misogyny. Gotta love Japan. (MTV)





Star Wars' Lines That Describe Your Sex Life (Huffington Post)



So...This is MONDAY AUGUST 25TH
Aug. 25, 2014 6:57 am




Happy 24th birthday to porn starlet Victoria Sweet! 

You may recognize this dark-haired hottie from the films: ?Take Her Easy,? ?Britney Rears? ?Fine Bi Me? and ?Ho White and the 7 Midgets 2



No Freaking Way!!




The National Ice Council Is Upset Over The Ice Bucket Challenge ... Jimmy Fallon ran a "public service announcement" parody from the National Ice Council.




Canadian Porn Star Stages Orgy to Pay for Boob Job  (Dailydotcom)





An ultraorthodox cleric in Egypt, claims that spying on a woman in the shower is fine provided you are doing it with the pure intention of marrying her?(rawstory)



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