(WOWT) He Loves Her More Than His Twig and Berries-He made her mad enough to stab him in the crotch, but he still loves her and doesn?t want to press charges.
(WKBW) Batman Can Steal All the Beer He Wants-Once they found out who he was, convenience store owners in Buffalo won?t prosecute a robber dressed at Batman.
Andrew Luck ? The NFL?s Highest Paid Tool- Andrew Luck, who could have any phone (or anything) he wants after signing a $140-million-dollar contract, has chosen the same phone as your nana.
(Independent) You?d Think After Being Poisoned, They Wouldn?t Eat the Leftovers-Good news ? the Erdal family in Turkey survived a bad case of food poisoning. The family of four had to spend a week in the hospital after eating one of mom?s meals. But everybody recovered and once back home they invited the neighborhood for a big celebration dinner. Bad news ? they let mom cook again.
(VOCM) Lobster festival attendees forced to eat hotdogs instead after Air Canada loses lobsters-Jackie Panuisiak hosts the annual Northern Alberta Lobster Festival in the community of Cotillion. She had ordered some 145 pounds of live lobster to be shipped from this province to Alberta. The problem is that the lobsters didn't arrive.
THURSDAY AUGUST 25TH Aug. 25, 2016 8:04 am
(CBC) Breaking News ? On the Internet, Everybody is Lying-Talk about an impossible job. A team of researchers from Indiana Purdue Fort Wayne set out to discover "whether or not people are depicting their true selves online."
(ESPN) From Douchebag to Dance Champ? Lochte Trying to Weasel Into ?DWTS?-Could dancing with a half-naked woman on national TV every week fix Ryan Lochte?s reputation?
(SanAntonioExpress) Is That a Glock in Your Pocket, or Are You Here for the Protest?-Jessica Jin couldn?t give the keynote speech during her anti-gun protest at the University of Texas in Austin. She was out of breath from carrying 55-pound boxes of sex toys around campus.
(CBSNewYork) Shakespeare Sucks, But What if We Did it Naked?-The mere mention of Shakespeare can put anyone to sleep. But what if all the actors were hot, naked women? That?s the plan next month, as an all-female nude cast will present Shakespeare?s ?The Tempest? in Prospect Park in Brooklyn.
(News24) He was drunk enough to get into bed with his mother-in-law, and she was drunk enough to forgive and forget. There are a few different levels of drunk. There?s happy but probably shouldn?t drive drunk. There?s ?sloppy and booty calling your ex drunk.? And then there?s ?being caught naked in bed with your mother-in-law drunk.? Wait, what?
WEDNESDAY AUGUST 24TH Aug. 24, 2016 7:15 am
(12News) Researchers Developing the ?Perfect Condom?- An Arizona State University research scientist has created a new type of condom that ?feels just like skin? on both sides.
(BristolPost) Wanna Buy Some Whale Vomit? Tom Derrick didn?t think much of the ?rubbery? rock he found on the beach near Bristol, England. But when he showed the ?waxy? lump to his fisherman dad, Alan Derrick could tell by the smell it was something special.
(KUTV) Knife Fight Breaks Out on Golf Course-A man was taken to Jail Saturday night after a fight broke out among golfers in Payson, Utah. According to Payson Police, a group of four golfers were playing ahead of Lee Johnson and his wife. The man and woman thought that the group was going too slow and wanted to play through, but the group did not want them too. This begins the-conflict..
Watch Michael Phelps hit Ryan Lochte right in the Speedo -
When he got back from Rio, Ryan Lochte got whacked by Speedo when they cancelled his endorsement. A few years ago, Michael Phelps whacked Lochte in the naughty bits with a remote controlled boat. Wonder which one hurt more?
Dude Hides Side Piece Under the Bed ? The Wife Finds Her Anyway- C?mon man, that?s the first place she?ll look.
TUESDAY AUGUST 23RD Aug. 23, 2016 6:00 am
(AP) Cincinnati Zoo Says -Quit Making Fun of Our Dead Gorilla-Remember Harambe ? the gorilla that was shot at the Cincinnati Zoo when the kid fell into his cage? Yeah ? he?s still dead.
(KentMessenger) Pokémon Go is Turning Your Kids Into Drug Crazed Sex Addicts-The folks of Allington, England want to get those Pokémon playing kids out of the park and back in front of the TV where they belong
(WTAE) Pizza Delivery at Police Station Goes Terribly Wrong-When the guy shows up at the cop shop with pizza, they all expected to eat until they saw the long chain and the look on the guy?s face.
(Digit) Pet Sitter Needed ? Gorilla Experience Preferred; Pierre and Eliane Thivilon haven?t left their house for an overnight trip for 18 years because they can?t find a sitter for their pet gorilla.
(BusinessInsider) KFC Has Created Fried Chicken Scented Sunscreen-Kentucky Fried Chicken gets into the skin care game with a new chicken scented sunscreen, and it?s already sold out.
(Mirror.co.uk) Spanish town shuns traditional bull run and replaces it with Indiana Jones-style boulders chase
FRIDAY AUGUST 19TH Aug. 19, 2016 9:57 am
(Photo: Kevin Jairaj, USA TODAY Sports)
(USA Today) Ryan Lochte is a Big Fat Liar! Rio police said four U.S. Olympic swimmers who claimed they were robbed at gunpoint fabricated their story to cover up for a drunken night that ended with them trashing a gas station bathroom.
Katherine Brooks/The Huffington Post
(HuffingtonPost) Naked Donald Trump Statues Pop Up Around The U.S.Naked, and unflattering, Donald Trump statues have popped up in five U.S. cities
(Digital Spy) Pokémon Porn is Now a Thing-The world?s two most popular things ? gaming and porn ? joined together in a new adults-only Virtual Reality film.
(MySunCoast) Sexually active seniors facing increased risk of STDs-according to the CDC, in some instances the rates of STD infection for people over 65 rivals that of people in their 20s. It's like Spring Break All the Time!!!
(TheLocal.de) Passengers Will Please Refrain from Riding Naked on the Train-Berlin?s public transport company, BVG, has a request to the ?Urban Nudist? that?s been riding the U-Bahn -what they call the trains ? please put on some clothes.
Look At How Much This Fork Lift Operator Sucks At His Job-You?re saying you don?t remember your car flipping over? Watch it Here BroBible
THURSDAY AUGUST 18TH Aug. 18, 2016 7:44 am
(Mirror) No, I Always Jog Naked, Why Would You Think Anything Was Wrong? If you were being chased by an angry guy with a knife, you?d ditch the clothes too.
(WDTN) I Said Do it IN the Van, not WITH the Van. There are guys who love their cars, and then there?s this guy.
(BBC) Update-Olympian Says It Wasn?t His Pole That Messed Up His Vault Yesterday, we reported on Hiroki Ogita, the Olympian who?s pole got in the way of his vault. Ogita swears it was his leg and arm that caused the bar to drop during his jump, not his junk.
(AP) Bologna 1, BMW 0-Police in Neubrandenburg report that a pedestrian was walking in a parking lot with his 8-year-old son when a BMW sped by a little too close. After screaming at the driver, the father tossed his foot-long bologna at the Beemer, leaving a good size dent in the back door.
(Omaha.com) Omaha dad finds pot brownies, eats four of them, says mean things to cat Paramedics called to the scene who checked the man found his vital signs to be normal. But they noted that he was displaying odd behavior ? crawling around on the floor, randomly using profanities and calling the family cat a bitch.
WEDNESDAY AUGUST 17TH Aug. 17, 2016 7:18 am
Image credit: Maegan Vazquez
(ijr.com) Traditional Corn Poll Predicts Presidential Winner-An unscientific, but traditional poll at the Iowa State Fair is giving Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump a ten-point lead over Democrat Hillary Clinton in the race for the White House.
Autum Parry, The Daily Camera
(DailyCamera.com) Anybody Up for a Breast Milk Facial? A Boulder, Colorado salon isn?t sure they will continue to offer ?breast milk facials? after the shop window was broken and the poster was stolen. Nothing else missing or vandalized, just the breast milk facial poster.
(HollywoodGossip) Boy Swallows Dog Toy and squeaks- A New Jersey boy wound up in the emergency room after swallowing his dog's squeaky toy.
(BBC) Eat Dinner Out of the Toilet Bowl; Indonesia is known for diverse and delicious food, but the Jamban Café may have gone too far. Diners sit on porcelain potties and enjoy their soup and drinks served in toilet bowls.
(KSN) Diaper Wearing Monkey Gets Loose In Walmart Parking Lot-Video of the chaotic scene has gone viral and according to 911 records, someone called emergency services claiming that the monkey had bitten a Walmart employee
(it didn't) who tried to wrangle the animal.
TUESDAY AUGUST 16TH Aug. 16, 2016 7:22 am
(CNN) We Aren?t Making Babies Like We Used To; The U.S. fertility rate is the lowest ever-American women are having less babies and waiting longer to do so.
(BBC)Too Much Porn Makes Teenage Boys Wilt-Can teenage boys watch too much porn? Yes and, according to British researchers, it?s causing them to have erectile dysfunction.
(TheSun) When Your Manhood Gets in the Way On the Job-Japanese pole vaulter Hiroki Ogita?s pole got in the way of his vault.
(LiveLeak) Angry Monkey Teaches Kids a Lesson-Kids, don?t tease the monkey, c?mon, don?t tease the monkey, don?t? hold on, let me get a paper towel.?
The Norwegian Belly Flop Finals-In Norway, they call it ?dřdsing? ? you jump from 30 feet up and have to keep your body as straight and flat as you can before you hit the water.
MONDAY AUGUST 15TH Aug. 15, 2016 7:53 am
(GoodHousekeeping) Teachers Reveal Top Back-to-School Money Saving Secrets; A group of teachers have compiled a list of their best money saving tricks for making sure you get everything on the list for your kids to make that grade!
Video Of Johnny Depp And Amber Heard Fighting Emerges: Well this doesn't look good. TMZ has released a video thatAmber Heard recorded of Johnny Depp in a rage. In the minute-and-a-half long clip, Depp slams his way through the kitchen while Heard points out that all she did that morning was say sorry and reminds him that they weren't fighting.
(UPI) What Crawled up Your Xbox and Died? A new ?South Park? video game features farts as weapons - both on the screen and in your nose.
(UPI) Canadian Thieves Steal 5,000 Gallons Of Maple Syrup . Apparently, a few breakfast loving Canadian thieves broke into the warehouse and stole a shipping container carrying 20 pallets with a total of about 5,283 gallons of the syrup.
Like Warrior Princesses!!
Bikini Boxing Gone Horribly Wrong; This sounds like a perfect Friday night in Ralston, Nebraska.Babes in bikinis boxing at the local arena, with beer on tap and music blaring. ?In the past it?s been a successful event,? Ralston Arena manager Stan Benis told the Omaha World-Herald? but not this time.
(OddityCentral) The Kung Fu Nuns of Nepal-For centuries, Buddhist nuns have been banned from practicing the deadly martial art of kung fu, but a few years ago the Druk Amitabha Mountain nunnery in Nepal became the home of the world?s first first order of kung fu nuns.
FRIDAY AUGUST 12TH Aug. 12, 2016 9:00 am
(ABCNews) Nancy Pelosi Blasts Trumps Verbal Poo-Poo-House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi held nothing back at a press conference yesterday, blasting Donald Trump?s ?bizarre? rhetoric, which she said is ?reminiscent of demagogues who want to be in the press, no matter what they have to say.
The. Best. Obituary. EVER. William Ziegler died last week in New Orleans, ?on purpose to avoid having to make a decision in the pending presidential election.? At least that?s what his obituary, published this morning in the ?New Orleans Times-Picayune?
JESSICA RINALDI/GLOBE STAFF
(BostonGlobe) How Many Cows? Correct, Here?s Your Gold Medal in the Farmer Olympics!;Believe it or not, counting cows is an Olympic event? at Vermont?s Second Annual Farmer Olympics!
Gabriella Taylor in intensive care after falling ill at Wimbledon CREDIT: TAYLOR FAMILY
(TheTelegraph) Did Someone Put Rat Pee in a Player?s Drink at Wimbledon? It wasn?t a roofie slipped into her drink, it was some dangerous bacteria that almost killed her.
(DailyMail) Woman tells police she was sexually assaulted by a'Pokemon Go character. The woman said she woke up to find a Pokemon on top of her in bed
(FOX6News) Watch News Anchor Try to Dip His ?Donut? into Co-Anchor?s ?Coffee?Two Milwaukee news anchors decide to have some fun with a story about Dunkin? Donuts, until it goes horribly wrong.
THURSDAY AUGUST 11 Aug. 11, 2016 7:16 am
(CNBC) Many U.S. Households Are Beyond Broke; The numbers are staggering; one in seven U.S. households has a negative net worth.
(Mirror) Statue of Jesus OPENS ITS EYES in church ?miracle'
(AP) Someone Snuck A Monkey Onto A Plane-Passenger snuck his service monkey onto a plane but refused to show papers proving the animal was certified
(Vine) What?s weirder. Seeing Donald Trump playing volleyball back in the day ? or shrieking like a little girl?
The Best Olympic News Bloopers
(Deadspin) NBC Shows Nudity With Underwater Camera In Women?s Water Polo-Whoops! NBC caught some nudity on their underwater cameras. NSFW
(Obsev) Iggy Azalea?s Butt- Real or Fake? Iggy Azalea?s backside has been the talk of the Internet for ages. Specifically ? original equipment or aftermarket? She was directly asked on MTV?s ?Wild?n Out? and her answer was, ?It?s real in your hands. But y?all don?t need to be worrying about booty that?s above your weight class!?
(CNN) Guy Catches His Flight by Chasing the Plane Down the Runway: Man jumps off sky bridge at Madrid airport, chases plane down the runway until the pilot pulls over and lets him get on!
(ABCNews) Tim Tebow Wants to Fail on America?s Baseball Diamonds Too: Tim Tebow has invited all 32 MLB teams to a workout, hoping to get signed as a Major Leaguer.
(Mandatory) Still Time Left This Summer to Visit Your State?s Stupidest Landmark: In Indiana it?s the World?s Biggest Crapper! In Missouri it?s the Fudge Factory in Uranus! And Kentucky has Big Bone Lick State Park!
(Mirror) Dog Retrieves One MUCH Bigger Than Yours-When Galaxy the chocolate Lab came out of the woods, dog walker Amy Brown wasn?t exactly sure what he had in his mouth. It was big and rubbery and.. yep, a larger than life sex toy.
TUESDAY AUGUST 9TH Aug. 9, 2016 7:36 am
(News.com) How NOT TO Smuggle Your Pet On A Plane: Want to hide your pet turtle from the authorities? Perhaps stuffing it inside your chicken sandwich isn?t the best idea.
(People) Science Has Figured Out How To Put A Whopper INSIDE A Burrito: Burger King may have developed the perfect ?end-of-a-long-partying-night? food ? a Whopper stuffed into a burrito!
(IndiaTimes) Man Thinks World War III Will Be Caused By A Cow: Forget nuclear weapons and ISIS, according to one man, World War III will be caused by a cow. The Indian government official and Swami doesn't know when this war will happen or what countries will be on what sides, but he says there are clues within mythology that prove he's right.
(ABCNews) Italian sailor uses mouth-to-mouth to revive kitten: A sailor jumped in the sea to rescue the cat, which was floating apparently lifeless in the water, as the coast guard ship entered the Sicilian port of Marsala after a patrol mission.
(DNAIndia) Cow Poop is the Answer to All Your Problems. I put cow dung on my cell phone to save myself from harmful radiation. The words of Shankar Lal, a political and cultural leader in India, explaining how cow dung is the solution to all your problems.
FRIDAY AUGUST 5TH Aug. 5, 2016 7:46 am
(Sports.Yahoo) The Games Will Start as Soon as We Can Find the Keys-Just when you thought the situation at Rio couldn?t get any more ridiculous; we have what happened yesterday before the games when a Rio official literally locked himself out of the Olympics.
(Deadspin) Philadelphia Mayor Asks Citizens to Stop Turning Dumpsters into Swimming Pools: The folks on Cedar Street in Philadelphia wanted a swimming pool for their block party, and Justyn Myers knew just what to do
(FOX2) Prophets of doom' say the world will end: October 31st. Seems like the End Times Prophecies got it wrong. OBVIOUSLY the end of the world was not July 29, 2016.
(HuffingtonPost) Company Creates World's Largest Sex Toy-The massive creation is a marketing stunt for Adult Novelty Manufacturers Expo (ANME), a sex toy convention (NSFW)
WEDNESDAY AUGUST 3 Aug. 3, 2016 7:54 am
(Metro.co) Dude Go Home, It?s Been Ten Days and I Don?t Think She is Going to Show! Everyone has been stood up before, but few of us would fly 3,000 miles and wait ten days before giving up.
(SputnikNews) If Russian Hackers Don?t Get You, the Robber Monkeys Will! Going ?old school? with sensitive information doesn?t make it any safer if monkeys are around.
(TCPalm) Keep Driving No One Will Notice The Stop Sign You Ran Over! If you stop your pickup truck after running over a traffic sign, deputies may cut you some slack. But if you speed away and have a ?fully grown marijuana plant? in your pickup truck?s bed, not so much.
(TheLocal) Honey, The Dentist Shrunk My Junk...The dentist told a man in Sweden that a plastic mouth guard would help him stop grinding his teeth. He wore the guard every night until he started noticing some bedroom difficulties. So he got out the ruler and? yep, the mouth guard was making his member shrink.
(Facebook) Woman Takes Bath at Gas Pump and It?s NOT Sexy..Would you rub a gas station squeegee all over your body? Remember there is always someone around to record whatever you do.
TUESDAY AUGUST 2ND Aug. 2, 2016 8:13 am
Winona Vet confronts Pokemon players in park
(The Local.se) I?ll Have a McDouble, and a Happy Meal for My Dead Pet Badger! Swedish man takes his dead badger into a McDonalds, and then the fun started.
(West-Midlands) I?m Calling 911 to Come Get This Poo Out of My Yard: Police in West Midlands, UK are tired of all the nuisance calls they get to their emergency number. From bad haircuts to broken clocks, the phone at the station is ringing off the hook
(Mirror.co) Drunk man gets into fight with HIMSELF after leaving helpful note about hangover
(UPI) Pregnant British woman performs pole dance while in labor
MONDAY AUGUST 1ST Aug. 1, 2016 8:50 am
Skydiver jumps 25,000 ft from a plane and land safely WITHOUT a parachute. Luke Atkins fell 25,000 feet without a parachute on TV over the weekend. While Fox TV aired in on a delay, his team streamed the jump live.
(SeattlePost) What Do You Wear to the Testicle Festival? Celebrate your man glands at this Montana festival! It?s the 27th year for Testy Fest - four days of live music, food, drinks, and fun and games like the Undie 500 where contestants race tricycles in their skivvies. The Miss Testy Wet T Shirt Contest and the Biggest Balls competition (which is exactly what you think it is) are also favorites.
(PlymouthHerald) He's Dead, He Won't Mind if I Take a Few Things.. Mark Stoneman?s next door neighbor, Justin Brookmancommitted suicide last October. Stoneman discovered the body and then did the non-neighborly thing ? rummaged through the dead guy?s stuff looking for goodies.
(PPP) Five Percent of Americans Are Voting for a Dead Ape If the candidates for President were Democrat Hillary Clinton, Republican Donald Trump, and independentHarambe, who would you vote for? Harambe, if you don?t remember, was the ape shot and killed at the Cincinnati Zoo after the child fell into his habitat.
(WDRB-TV) This Courtroom is NOT a Pants Free Zone: Watch a Louisville Kentucky judge lost it when they bring a woman not wearing pants into her courtroom (about 1:48 into the video).
Twitter Guys, Don?t Wear Short Shorts In Connecticut ? It?s Not Allowed-Connecticut?s ?Ridgefield Press? newspaper tweeted that police responded to a 911 call about an ?inappropriately dressed person? hanging around a local car dealer.
NME How Many Peeners on TV is Too Many? This week,Channel 4 in London premiered a new dating show called Naked Attraction. Naked Attraction aims to investigate the science of raw primitive attraction by making contestant choose dates based on the appearance of their genitalia.
MassLive Sex on the Roof of a Car-After a relaxing afternoon of drinking, smoking dope and hanging out at the river with their dogs, a Massachusetts couple idecided it was time to make a baby. Yes, really
Watch as a Wal-Mart shoplifter gets away with his loot on a Hoveround!
WEDNESDAY JULY 27 July 27, 2016 7:41 am
(DailyMail) Woman Files Lawsuit to Stop Neighbors From Cooking Smelly Food: Joanna Cridlin says her neighbors are cooking food so spicy that the smells "permeate her home for up to eight hours a day."
(TMZ) Miss Cleo Has Died: You won't be able to call Miss Cleo anymore. The infamous psychic has died at the age of 53 after a battle with colon cancer
(AP) Man Gets Stuck In Mud Pit While Playing Pokemon Go: It's not just millennials and kids obsessed with "Pokemon Go." A 62-year-old man in Coeymans, New York was out in his backyard playing the mobile game at 2am when he wandered into the woods and ended up in mud pit up to waist.
(TheLocal) Swedish kids' TV cooks up storm with condom haggus: Swedish parents have complained after they turned on their television and sat down with their kids? only to watch a puppet character use a condom to make the Scottish delicacy haggis.
Watch This Rodeo Clown Fall Face First into Doo Doo: Watch this rodeo clown attempt a gymnastic move with a very bad dismount. Check it Out HERE
TUESDAY JULY 26TH July 26, 2016 7:12 am
(BigLead) Going to Rio? Bring Your Own Toilet Seat: The disaster that could be the Rio Olympics just revealed a new problem - a crime spree at the Olympic Village where everything from lamp fixtures to toilet seats are being stolen.
(ScienceAlert) The Superfood of the Future - Cockroach Milk: It?s four times more nutritious than cow?s milk. ?It?s a complete food - with proteins, fats and sugars?
(CNN) Rio Olympic officials welcome athletes with air conditioners and 42 condoms each: With no TV?s in the rooms, will that be enough?
(Telegraph) Binge watching your favorite TV series could kill you. Researchers say spending hours in front of the TV sharply raises the risk of dying from blood clots in the lungs.
(FOXNews) ?Is He In Line For the Cronuts?? ?No, Just Dead.? Cronuts are still the hottest thing at New York City bakeries. And over the weekend, people were so hot to get their carb on that they totally didn?t care about the dead guy on a bench ?staring? at them