A guy in Maine loaned his car to a buddy. That buddy hit a utility pole. That buddy was also driving on a suspended license. The police searched the vehicle. In it they found, about, 48 grams of a course, powdery substance. They thought it was heroin. They were wrong. It was the cremated remains of the father of the car owner. Remember him? Just helping out a friend then the friend turns out to be kind of a d-bag. At least when it comes to driving and telling people he doesn’t have a valid drivers license he is a d-bag. For sure.
48 hourse later and everything is hunky dory. The friend is charged. The father is returned. The car owner is laughing. However, this sparked some real fears in me.
It is my BIGGEST fear that when I am cremated my remains will look like this…
I fear that when they got to torch me, an overpowering smell of prok rinds will fill the air making everyone hungry and sad.
I fear that the only attendees at my funeral will be stray dogs because they smell food and try to eat me.
I fear that some people will take what I am saying seriously and try to comfort me through my fat shaming.
I fear that my funeral won’t have a decent biffet and everyone will be underwhelmed.
I fear that the eulogies given will be copy and pasted from the funeral just before mine.
I fear I lost what the point of the blog post was about.
I fear change. Not, like, in my life. Just…pennies. Lincoln with his judging gaze. Gives me the heebies and the jeebies.
I fear that I have over shared.
I Fear that I want to die of embarrassment.
Have I told you that it is my BIGGEST fear that my remains will look like this…
SOURCE: Central Maine