You look tired.
Isn’t this just another way of saying you’re not exactly looking your best? Unless it’s followed by him offering to tuck you in and take care of everything left on your to-do list, it’s usually pretty unwelcome. This is especially true if you’re full of energy, just not wearing makeup.
Every other girlfriend orgasmed when I did that.
Excuse me, sir? I don’t know why some men think it’s cool to make it seem like you’re defective if you don’t orgasm from their (oftentimes lackluster and porn-taught, in these cases) sexual efforts. Don’t feel bad about giving him a quick sex-ed lesson in which you explain that women’s anatomy is way more diverse than men’s.
You’re going to make some guy the luckiest man alive.
Usually uttered while breaking up with you. It’s painful because it just makes you wonder why he doesn’t want to be the luckiest man alive.
Are you really wearing that?
If you’re wildly over or underdressed for the occasion, he’s got a point. If your guy just doesn’t understand your fashion sense, forget it. I’m sure Sex and the City’s Carrie got this a lot.
I have to tell you something.
OK, cool, your mind will just run wild with guesses as to what that something is, each more horrifying than the next. Did he lose his job? Cheat on you? Get scary results from a doctor? Start a family in some other state?
We need to talk.
Similar to “I have to tell you something,” except it carries more of a relationship-based connotation. Some guys think it’s especially clever to fake you out by saying one of these phrases, then following up with something lovely like proposing. I can see why some women would get a kick out of it, but I’m definitely not one of them.
I’m just disappointed.
Oh, ouch. This one stings because it’s probably something your parents said when you screwed up as a teenager. Anyone who dealt with that knows a disappointed parent is a zillion times worse than a furious one. Same goes for your significant other. It’s easier to deal with his being mad than to hurt his tender feelings!