Whether it be getting really drunk and playing Apples to Apples 0r just…getting really drunk, every family has a longstanding Thanksgiving tradition they could never live without (not that they’d ever admit it out loud).
Here, a collection of super funny, straight-up weird, and/or mind-baffling Thanksgiving rituals from people all over the webz. Take it all in and be thankful for your closest weirdos.
Reddit user Scops describes a tradition of their “incredibly sweet mother [getting] tipsy and [flipping] someone off at the dinner table.” Scops’s mother isn’t the only one—hundreds of other Redditors describe something pretty similar. And given that we exist in the year 2018…I can’t imagine this post-midterm-election year’s Thanksgiving will be any different.
Dancing with turkeys
I know, I know. You’re sitting there wondering why one wouldn’t dance with his/her turkey before eating it. But Facebook user Single Dad Laughing confirms he and his family “name and dance with our turkey when we clean it prior to stuffing it and cooking it. My parents did it when I was a kid and now I do it with my kids. Only my kids look at me like I am nuts.”
Yeah, another one you absolutely can’t believe isn’t done everywhere always. “We say thank you to our turkey,” Reddit user didyousaypivot confirmed last year, at which point a bunch of people chimed in to say they, too, do the same. It’s only fair, no?
Starting Christmas early
Though this may not seem super farfetched, plenty of people get a head start on Christmas…while sitting around the Thanksgiving table. “When my nieces were little, we had them make a Christmas gift for their parents (while their parents were sleeping off dinner),” Twitter user ESLDewey explained. Cute! Sweet! A little rushed! But cute!
PJs all day
Sure, you’re no stranger to stretchy pants on Thanksgiving but @gypsywoman35 wrote “we do our annual PJ-Turkey day. We even encourage our guests when we have them to come over in their pj’s.” There you have it, folks: People (and their immediate families) are chilling in PJs all day on Thanksgiving.
While you’re out there eating boring regular old stuffing, please know there are peopleout there in the world doing this: “We stuff our Thanksgiving bird with cereal—sometimes sugary, sometimes silly, not usually healthy but one year it was Grape Nuts.” Grape nuts. Grape Nuts!!!
A different kind of roasting
Remember when we talked about thanking your turkeys? One family took another cue from regular Thanksgiving traditions to start their own. “A funny family Thanksgiving tradition was started by our 9-year-old,” Twitter user jjrsvl said. “He ‘roasted’ everyone at the table. He figures we roast a turkey, so [why not].” Yes!! Everyone should always be roasted at Thanksgiving!!! Everyone deserves it!!
Though Thanksgiving, in a lot of ways, is a measure of who can eat the most, one family actually gets competitive about it. From FB user Dan P: “The men in my husband’s family do a pre-eating weigh in, then compete to see who can gain the most weight during the meal before a post-meal weight-check. Lots of water, lots of mashed potatoes, and a whole bunch of women shaking their heads in confusion over why.” So. That’s good.
Chocolate turkey games
From my family, if it makes you feel any better: When I was a kid, my aunt gave every one of the cousins a little chocolate turkey as we wrapped up the evening. We all assumed it would stop when we grew up, and yet there are still around 15 tiny chocolate turkeys circulating through the house every year. We’ve taken to hiding them in each other’s bags so she doesn’t know we aren’t eating them anymore. Pretty sure one of my cousins unknowingly went home with about 8 of them in 2016. Yay!